Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Well, i thought i had a lot to say about this topic, but Wikipedia, for once, seems to have summed it up rather nicely:

"The defining characteristic of polyamory is belief in the possibility of, and value of, multiple romantic loving relationships carried out "with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned."[1] What distinguishes polyamory from traditional forms of non-monogamy (i.e. "cheating") is an ideology that openness, goodwill, intense communication, and ethical behavior should prevail among all the parties involved. Some consider polyamory to be, at its root, the generalization of romantic couple-love beyond two people into something larger.[2]
"Polyamorous relationships, in practice, are highly varied and individualized. Ideally they are built upon values of trust, loyalty, negotiation, and compersion, as well as rejection of jealousy, possessiveness, and restrictive cultural standards.[3] "

Which means that the only thing left to ask is why is this such a problem? why are people so upset with the notion that love grows, rather than constricts? why do people grasp so greedily at those they care about or are attracted to, shutting the door to the possibility of being loved by more people?
i can't help but come back to the poem by Marianne Williamson:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
...Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"

and as she concludes, it is when we finally open our eyes to our own possibilities, let go of our fear of ourself, that we begin to free not only ourselves, but everyone else around us:

"...And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

it's a shame that liberation is seen as a cause for alarm and a signal to run to gather up arms. liberation is a celebration, and should be welcomed with open arms.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

school buses and little kids

have i mentioned how much i hate racism? how much i despise our racist society with its' ingrained and deep-seated habits and racial profiling? with its' prevalence of reverse racism? - which just proves again that we're a white supremacist culture because even the term "racism" normalizes whiteness. this time i hate racism because of the hate inculcated by parents in their young children. our only hope for salvation would be to teach tolerance and extend the social networks of our children to include children of other races, let alone other cultures, classes, sexes, gender norms and sexualities, politics...
instead of equality, however, we teach superiority. instead of providing tools to our children for those times that they will encounter racism, or sexism or ageism or classism or ..., we teach them to build walls and separations. when we are caught in the public view with our less than tolerant ways - or our children make us look less than tolerant - we either take up the beleaguerd battle cry of reverse racism or smile tightly and take our kids home and skin them alive, reminding them what racists surround us and to keep the family's racism under wraps. what lasting impressions we leave.

and just for the record, my white daughter enjoyed all people until the African-American kids on her first grade bus pulled her hair and called her "white" and refused to sit with her because of her color. and once she got over that, it was a black girl who told my daughter that she would whip her, and not mind if my daughter was killed, since our white ancestors had whipped and killed her black ancestors anyway.

racism is a two-way street, people. we cannot overcome it by continuing to hate.